Authenti-city

Years of peer pressure, along with the expectations and shortcomings of our caretakers may have caused us to color inside the lines one too many times. Along the way, we may have forgotten how to fully express ourselves. Like a muscle that gradually wastes away when we don’t use it.

When we are bold, when we express ourselves without fear ...


On starting new projects

Failing to understand sunk costs can make starting new projects feel like a risk or a distraction. The problem is not starting them. But rather not knowing when to kill them.

The reason I start so many things is because I'm focused on learning. When we're able to butcher projects fast enough, we can harm our reputation on the short-term. ...


The stories we don't tell

How can we connect when we're more concerned with looking good and honing a fake persona than we are with being authentic and generous?

Doing a bad job doesn't make us worse people. And admitting our shortcomings doesn't make us less worthy. It's the generous thing to do. It invites growth. Furthers connection.

...

The heart

For most of our lives, we have been conditioned to think primarily through the lenses of language. At a tender age, many of us put together and learned to feed an inner voice or internal dialogue. With time, we may have lost touch with other parts of our nature.

Words can do so much for us. But our ability to reason goes way beyond what w ...


Metamorphosis

The mistakes we made and deeds we accomplished yesterday are like blinkers. They prevent us from seeing sideways. They mute our experience of life and keep us from reaching a deeper understanding of the world.

There are radiant, ecstatic, powerful version of ourselves lying somewhere. Untapped potential we may only harness when we learn t ...


Invest in your family

Social circles can be a source of comfort, support, fulfilment and growth. As someone who builds communities, I’m aware of the compounding advantages that come with being part of an additional circle. We have more people to learn with. More access to opportunities. A richer perspective of the world. And more protection when things go wrong. Havi ...


Chapters

There will be times when you feel like a path forward is nowhere to be found. But sometimes, a path is not there because you are not supposed to be on that road yet.

Are you worried about a new chapter because you are afraid to start anew? Or are you using that time and energy as an excuse to delay wrapping up the one you are currently wr ...


Create your own luck

The first time I joined a meetup was in 2014. I remember spending an entire afternoon agonising over whether I should join the event. — I was young, unexperienced, didn’t know anyone and had an odd yet natural preoccupation with how a group of strangers would perceive me. — I showed up dressed in the most formal and uncomfortable attire I could ...


Earnest. Cards for more meaningful conversations.

We may not get picked today, tomorrow or the day after. In fact, the phone might never ring. But we don't have to wait around. We can decide that we will pick ourselves. Regardless of whether someone out there is listening. — We can choose to do the work, to write a new essay, paint a new canvas, build a new product.

Because I don’t want ...


Small cities are the future

There's something irresistibly charming about smaller cities. They bring us closer together. They provide a sense of community. Intimacy. They bring forward our caretaker traits.

As remote work becomes the norm, smaller cities will slowly supersede large metropolises. Unlike big cities, small places don't have to compromise. They can appe ...


Heartbreak

Heartbreak is inevitable. Anyone capable of love goes through one at some point in their life. We cannot avoid wounds and bruises but we might be able to reframe them.

The story we tell ourselves as we're sulking and going through the motions matters. We can see our distress as an opportunity for a deeper level of self-knowledge. Use the ...


Giants

The giants we learn about in school. The ones whose shoulders we stand on, were once small. Smaller, less experienced than us. They worried, many times, about crashing. Or about making fools out of themselves. They worried about dying alone.

It can be comforting to know we are all lost. Swirling around this blue planet, somehow, never fee ...


Unrequited love

At times, we might feel a certain inability to move on from someone for whom we have deep feelings for. Someone who won't like us back despite our valiant efforts and good charms.

We tell ourselves stories about how they're everything we are looking for. We imagine what it would be like if they saw us in a different light. What would it b ...


Tiny little monsters

Every now and then, we find tiny little monsters lurking around the corner. Mental setbacks, fear, a lingering feeling of anxiety we can't seem to fully comprehend.

These tiny little monsters always seem to find their way back to us. And our natural instinct can often get us to hide or run away. But that won't make the monsters go away....


Address problems early on, before they become too big

Even though it might be tempting at times to run away from our problems, doing so won't make them go away.

The nature of most problems is akin to the cartoonist cliche of the snowball rolling over the hill. When left unattended, problems grow. And they grow to create more problems. A small flame left unchecked often leads to multiple fire ...


Amateurs vs Professionals

The main difference between being an amateur or a professional has nothing to do with talent. Professionals show up every day. Amateurs come up with excuses or don't make showing up a priority.

...

This train cannot be stopped

At some point in life, we may find ourselves fighting for a place few people ever seem to get to. A job at a remarkable place. A deal with a record label. Or a signing with a publishing house.

The prospects of getting picked may seem hardly graspable. At times, we may ponder if we're good enough. Or if the phone will ever ring. After all, ...


Roads worth waiting for

Sometimes we're headed towards a dead end. And we keep on driving.

Some part of us knows we'll be in trouble soon and yet we hit the accelerator. And we come up with a thousand stories: There might be more to it than what meets the eye. We might get what we need it if we just keep on going. We might be able to break the wall if we're clev ...


We'll survive

To which degree are we letting our fears and insecurities control how we perceive reality and the world around us?

Are we letting particular negative experiences dictate how we experience group interactions? Or public speaking opportunities?

Are we being held back by the fact that someone made us feel bad and inadequate for standin ...


Letting friendships go

Sometimes we hold on to friendships that are no longer working. We hold on to that friend who was there for our sweet sixteen. We hold on to the group we formed in college, when we were still figuring out what we wanted. We hold on to people who have been in our lives for as long as we can remember. Even when the only things connecting us are ou ...


Showing up

Building up a new skill or working towards a new goal can be frustrating. Especially when we're just getting started. Our output is often below the level we're acquainted with. And feeling our work is below average can be frightening.

A proven way to get better is to show up consistently. To put in the work on sunny days and rainy days. T ...


Requirements

The idea that someone should have to meet requirements like a certain age or height. Or belong to a certain circle to become a suitable partner might not be serving us.

We might be hurting our chances at finding deep connection because we haven't given enough thought to what might, in fact, make us happy.

The connection and intimac ...


Take a chance

Sometimes we are afraid of giving ourselves to others. Lessons learned from the past. Perhaps, from a time when a friend or loved one behaved in a way that betrayed our values or expectations. Perhaps, when we were kids. People often fail to meet those expectations. They are self-absorbed, unaware. We're guilty too. I imagine it to be part of ou ...


Opportunities vs distractions

Sometimes we take on new projects and say 'yes' to opportunities to later realise we should have said 'no'. This happens frequently when we're young. We don't often have a clear sense of purpose or direction. And there is always something new.

The thing about what we call opportunities is that they are only opportunities in light of what ...


Don't use acronyms

The goal of communication is to convey information. To create an understanding. Yet, we often choose to use words that create obstacles for those we’re trying to reach.

As we gain familiarity within the domain in which we operate, we start adopting acronyms, initialisms and abbreviations used by people in our circle. But using them, ends ...